So the meet and greet with local pagans went great. My husband was able to relax and trust. me. Had a great time and did some networking.
Today I performed the Lesser Banishing Ritual of the Pentagram. For those that don't know, its a very simple but powerful ritual to clear away negativity from yourself and your home. One part asks you to invoke the archangels Raphael, Michael, Gabriel, and Ariel. Their presence can really be felt. After I was done and felt the negativity slip away, I went into meditation to encounter some new angels.
though a bit unfocused, mostly from being abuzz with ritual energy, I was able to meet with an entire group of angels I had been studying. Assiel, Muriel, Haziel, Sariel, and Anael were all there. It was quite pleasant. I was surprised though when Gabriel showed up. Gabriel's energy is very reminiscent of my mother's energy which can be very driven and analytical. I was nervous. But he hugged me tight and told me to stop being so hard on myself. I push my expectations hard when trying to find a job and do my best. Though I haven't been able to get a job, it has badly wounded my confidence and my opinion of myself. Well you know you're too hard on yourself when the angel of hard work says you are. Gabriel went on to say, "All you can do is do the best you can. And you have. Don't be so hard on yourself."
I have to say, I almost cried. I could feel that acknowledgement that I wasn't failing or giving up sink into my bones. It was just what I needed. All the angels around me smiled and agreed before I returned to my physical body. Even as I sit here writing I feel the cooling effect Gabriel's words have on my spirit.