I have never been fearful of death. My mother worked as an administrator for Hospice since I could remember. Even before that I was accustomed to the fact that people are not invincible. I was born only three years before my mother's parents passed away and the only one of their grandchildren not to be terrified of my grandfather. As I grew older I began to experience many things from new step-parents to many many new pets. I explored my spirituality and found a passion for my beliefs.When I first started communicating and connecting to angels, I was in high school. From freshman year and onward I found that connection strengthening. Even if I did not talk to them for months at a time while I dealt with new experiences in college they were still there. It has been thirteen years since I first started talking with angels and I am still being surprised. I would like to share one of these surprises that, looking back now, seems to fill in the gaps for the strange occurrences in mylife.About a month or so ago I decided to make my focus this winter on healing. I wanted to heal myself, my past wounds, and emotional scars. I meditated and tried to work through the experiences that hurt me so badly as I grew up. I used the chakra system as a guide in dealing with issues one at a time. My childhood was not very stable and I can barely remember the time with my first step-father. I found out in my teen years that he had been an angry alcoholic and would get in yelling fights with my mother. My brother blames him for my sudden personality shift from an extroverted child to a quiet, introvert. Thankfully he was not in our lives for very long, but those memories are still fuzzy. In trying to work out past wounds I hit a snag on my very first chakra. The root chakra develops and solidifies around the age of seven.The period around which my first step-father would be leaving my life. This chakra deals with stability and at the time of its development I had very little. While thinking this over in bed one night and the effects it must have had on me, I closed my eyes. I tried to visualize what my bedroom had looked like at that time. At that point in my childhood I used imaginary friends and daydreaming to relax my mind before bed. Each night I would visualize and talk to my imaginary friends. I had somany I could barely remember them all. As I relaxed, trying to imagine my old room and my childhood self I saw in my mind's eye a figure by my old bedside. This imaginary friend, or so I termed it, looked like a snow princess. She, or he, was decked out in silvery blue with long white hair. They were beautiful with a bitter sweet smile. In my mind I knew that smile, but I could not place it. So I let the image of the figure at my childhood bedside play out. They would sit with me each night and help me get to sleep. My mind was still trying to place that sad smile. I held the visualization of the figure until I realized where I knew that look from.Whenever I feel or visualize the angel Azrael that same bitter sweetness comes with him. The smile was the same. Only now I see him in a black suit with shoulder length, wavy blonde hair looking dapper and clean. But the smile had not changed. I realized that Azrael had been with me long before I ever started speaking with angels. He was with me each night trying to comfort me into restful sleep and he still does to this day. Realizing that I allowed myself to relax in my bed and thanked Azrael. I came to terms with the fact that I may never remember what happened at that time in my childhood and in some ways I am sure it is a blessing. I continue to be comforted bythe angels and guided as I continue to heal myself.
Sunday, October 6, 2013
Sharing a story
I realized, after all this time, that I barely share any of my angel stories. I feel a bit apprehensive because I don't remember many of my stories after awhile so it feels like I don't have many. But I have written one or two down so I will give you one of those. Enjoy!